Sunday, June 04, 2006

When is it Too Late to be Loved?

What do you do when you don't want to be Lonely anymore? Only the dilemma or catch 22 is no one wants you any longer! February 8, 1993 (2 days after my 28th b-day) I met with the attorney that represented me in my divorce. He was very bitter having freshly divorced himself. He thought I was divorcing my ex out of vengeance. The fact was, my ex had asked for the divorce. I didn't want it. Oh well, such is life. And before long it was filed and finalized. Afterward, my Daddy was trying to help. Make it a bit easier, life that is. He tried to get me to remarry. LMAO I wasn't ready at that time. He'd found me a "new" husband. (Laughing Hysterically) Now don't get me wrong, I didn't then nor now disrespect him. It just seems so funny now. I explained to him how I didn't want to rush into marriage, I had no intention to use someone. He told me I'd learn to love him.(scoffs) That's the mistake my Mother made. After she fell in love with him he left her. Daddy tried to tell me how I would end up. Did I listen? Why, hell no.

He described my life the way it is, in the present. Okay, parents are right sometimes. He knew me better than I knew myself. He told me dating and/or marriage was a lot like falling off a horse. You have to get back in the saddle, or all of your fears really do haunt you. If he were here, he'd never say "I told you so." He would say that about other things. (with a big cheesy grin) That was just how Daddy was or wasn't in this case. I can still hear the whole conversation over again. He also told me I needed to start living for myself before it was too late. But, work was in the way for so long. My main concerns were my children, still is. So, have I waited too long?

In his sixty years of life he had 5 "technically" legal wives. 3 he actually married with witnesses....LOL The other 2 he was "common law" married. When he died, he'd been divorced for years and no GFs in his life. What a role model of living, huh? But let's face it, it's different with men. Me, I sit here with my one marriage-divorce and a total of 3 BFs to my history. (chuckles) Although, I still have "Passion," for life and about anything my heart is in. Just remember, being alone can be Heaven for some and punishment for others. I pray it's not too late.

Be Loving Toward One Another.

God Bless,

Tina ~AKA~ Love

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