I Learn of New Things to be Thankful for EVERYDAY!!

Have you ever seen your Daddy Cry? Not at a funeral, but, in a time of relief? My Daddy hasn't been able to work in over 2 years, and filed for disability. We heard last week they approved it. He finally received his first check. Not bad, I could live on it. Today he needed to talk. I go over, he meets me at the door with one of those "Daddy" Hugs. I noticed something was bothering him, so I asked about it. He said he couldn't shake the damn depression he's had. He didn't feel the relief he should. I explained to him that sometimes with the over-whelming things he's been through it just takes time. One-day-at-a-time! Then I saw the tears, it broke my heart. For the words following ripped my heart out. He said he'd laid in bed all night, all he could think of was how he had failed me when I needed him most. When my children were taken and then I lost my home along with 90% of my belongings. I told him that he didn't fail me! He was there every time I needed to talk, cry on his shoulder, or needed a "Everything's gonna be Okay" Hug, the kind that only Daddies can give. Monetary values can't be put on that. And I'll remember this day the rest of my life. For this is the Very First time I ever saw my Daddy cry. He didn't even cry when his Dad passed on, and they were very close. I'm sure he cried, just not in front of anyone. It's hard to know how to comfort him. He's a Manly Man, always has been. I believe the word is "Macho"!! Today I saw him in a new light. The man with feelings of failure. He cried so much over failing me, nothing I said could take his self driven guilt away. Until, I told him, no matter what has happened in my life, I've survived it. Survived it because he was always there to support me morally and emotionally. Here I am, with my children. Yes, I live with family, but, I'm not doing anything to make him ashamed of me. My children and I don't live in the streets, a car, or an abandoned house. If we all take one day at a time, one thing at a time, things will get better. Then to close the conversation, I told him to forget the past things that can't be changed. I went back later this evening, and relief is starting to set in. He'd cleaned his house, getting ready for Thanksgiving tomorrow. He's actually excited about having people around. He's been a hermit for so long. He has Parkinson's Disease, and he isn't comfortable around others. Finally, something good comes from all the wait. So if you have a Healthy Daddy, Give him a hug and let him know how much they mean to you. You never know when the last one will be. Or if he wonders if he's failed you, not been there enough!! God Bless you and Have a Happy Thanksgiving. I'll be surrounded by family (some I don't even like) LOL And don't forget (I won't) to thank God for your friends!!

Take Care, Be Safe, May Happiness Find you with a Smile, Talk to you soon!

Tina (Love)

(turn page) November 25, 2004 I found my Daddy dead at his house. Happy Thanksgiving?