Another Day in HELL with Me!

The last week has been pure Hell! Today My Daddy has been dead a week. We buried him yesterday. I saw it all the way through, as he did with me for so long. He never left me hanging. Now, as he journey ends in life, I have to find a way to continue without him. The days feel like they have all blended together. I pulled up at Daddy's house tonight in hopes he'd come to the door. I know how crazy it sounds!! Maybe the stress is getting to me, or maybe I've been crazy for years. Just can't tell about me anymore. This Grieving thing isn't working for me. Yes I hurt and cry becasue I want My Daddy back. But, my why's and who's seem to overrun it. My 4 yr old only knows that Papa Tommy is Dead. He informed me that he would dig his way out of the grave to come back and be Daddy again, I would see. I think he's watched too many horror flicks. My oldest two were the last to see Daddy alive (from the family) just 15 and 12. The 15 yr old, well, he took it hard. The 12 yr old, took it harder, for he was the last to get a hug and kiss, and Papa Tommy told me he'd see me later. Moma, he says, Papa Tommy knew we were coming back. He would never do what the police said. My children are relatively normal kids. I Love them more every day. My Daddy was very proud of them for the way they were adjusting after all the BS and moving we'd been through. Alex only missed A/B honor roll by 4 points, in one class. In the days to come, I hope that I can instill in my children the values in life My Daddy taught me. Yes, Moma taught us things too. But, I was Daddy's little girl until Thanksgiving Day of 2004. Now, I'm not sure what I'll be considered. So, here I sit living life One-Day-At-A-Time!!!!!!!!!!! Just an hour at a time. Hug your loved ones and check the peepholes. Until next time.

Take Care, Be Safe, May Happiness Find you with a Smile, Talk to you soon!

Tina (Love)