Thinking, Again!

Have you really thought of all the wonders of the world? How hugs from certain people can make you feel like nothing can take this away! How a simple "I Love You Mommy(or Daddy) can make all the worries of the day fade! Just like the first rain after the summer's heat has past, the relief of stresses that are built up. I'll not lie to anyone, being a parent carries it's own stresses. But there's the instances of complete elation they give you with the kisses, hugs, and I Love you's! I can't imagine not having my boys. We were separated for 10 months and it damn near killed me inside. Seeing them once a week for an hour, wasn't near the amount of time they needed. They've been home since May 24th of this year, and I'm still working on the damage that was done in those 10 months. I've worked hard with each of them to try to reverse the damage. I'm always reassuring them of the Love I have for them. Chance still needs to be worked with, he still runs away from authority figures. He's willful, but he's a good boy. Bobby needed the least work because he always believed it would be temporary. Alex, well he's still having some anger issues. He's a Good boy and with time it will heal his hurts. I talk about this tonight because, they are good boys, all of them. It's been one of those "rough around the edges" days. I Love them so much, so much that I'll never give up them. They may not believe in themselves, but I do!!!! And Always Will! May Everyone have a Good night. Take care and be safe.

Tina

Oh and Happy Hallow's Eve!!

Okay I'll stop with the quizzes for Now..

I found a cool site that has all kinds of quizzes. But to take them all, I'd get nothing else done. And I do have other things to do. Like laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, and (when they get home) Making my boys clean their room. It's not dirty, just messy. When will they learn to put things up. It would be so much easier to put it up freshly washed, dried and folded, then to have to refold it and put it up later. I'm staying in my Uncles old room, still sharing space with his belongings. After someone passes it's hard to move everything out. Almost like, keeping their memory alive. I hope when I pass, it won't be so hard for (whomever) to put my things away. However that may be, in giving some away, keeping part of it, or even throwing some of it away. Yes, I've been known to be a pack rat. Losing everything to a fire tends to make you appreciate what you have a lot more. And, now with losing Almost everything, when I lost my house(not to a fire), Makes me more thankful for what I have left. I was just going to vent about the boys not putting away their clothes and got to thinking about everything! Figures, don't it? Sometimes Thinking takes you further than you want to go. Have a Great Day and Weekend!!

Happy Halloween to those that Don't get on this weekend.

Take Care, God Bless and Talk to you All Soon!

Tina

Now this made me LMAO!!

Take the quiz: "What Disney Princess Are You?"

Ariel
You can swim, flip, dive and be one with fish...WHY DO YOU WANT MORE?

Hmmmmm, Makes ya Wonder Don't It?

Take the quiz: "WHAT RELIGION BESTS SUITS YOU?"

True Christian
You are humble, gracious, kind and extremely Christ-like. You believe in the bible as your law, but read it in its original language. Perhaps you're not a scholar, but you're not an armature either. You normally don't feel church is acceptable for your form of worship, and if anyone believes different from you, you might try to learn something from them.

Me SHY???

Take the quiz: "What does your birth month reveal about you?"

February
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

Kissing is a Good Thing!

Take the quiz: "What Kinda Kiss R U?"

Tender Kiss
The tender kiss is the feeling where you can be anywhere and show your feelings.

This Was Interesting!

Take the quiz: "Which Tarot Arcana are You? (women)"

Star
Hope, courage, inspiration. No destruction is final. Unselfish aid will be given. Good health. Spiritual love.

Who Would have Known?????

Take the quiz: "What Is Your Kink?"

Nymphomania
You think eating and sleeping are just things you do in between having sex! The problem with there only being 24 hours a day is that there just isn't enough time to cram in all the sex you crave. Your mating call is JUST DO ME!

Isn't this the Truth?

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible.

What kind of blogger are you?

Cool Results....

You are Kermit the Frog.
You are reliable, responsible and caring. And you
have a habit of waving your arms about
maniacally.

FAVORITE EXPRESSIONS:
"Hi ho!" "Yaaay!" and
"Sheesh!"
FAVORITE MOVIE:
"How Green Was My Mother"

LAST BOOK READ:
"Surfin' the Webfoot: A Frog's Guide to the
Internet"

HOBBIES:
Sitting in the swamp playing banjo.

QUOTE:
"Hmm, my banjo is wet."


What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I wrote these... I hope they don't seem too Mushy for you!

Friendship

To me friendship has many meanings. It is the siplest form of kindness. It can start off with a small smile or just a "hi". The cool thing is a friendship is something built. It's not something you do alone. And they're limitless, for you can have as many or few as your heart allows. We go through certain rituals building our friendships. Such as, the sharing of childhood memories, teenage adventures, adult experiences. With Women it's the pregnant stories. Life's experiences can be funny, scary, or possibly learning and teaching scenerios. Friends share and learn from each other, no matter the ages they may be. I'm Proud to have as many friends as I do!! My heart is when I say, "This is my Friend". I hope and pray the best for each and everyone of you. With each passing year, tehre are the times of "parting is such Sweet Sorrow". But, the happiness I feel that we're all continuing to live our lives to the fullest and doing what's best for each of our families, taking our lives on the "right" path, is enormous. No matter the distance between us, we've each Touched one another's lives and hearts, that can't be erased! May God Bless us all for Striving to be Survivors and not giving up when all the chips seem down!!

Losing: In the eye of the Beholder

I lost a friend to the distant miles today. Soon another will journey far away also. Knowing that they'll be safe and happy with their families, comforts me. But the sadness of not being able to talk with them is still there. I'll think happy thought of them often. The good memories we've made will lighten my heart's sorrow of loss. I have many good frinds that live far away. The difference is I've made these friends up close and personal. Not that the friendship is any stronger, just different. In person, you can see the reaction in their eyes as well as their smile or laugh. The Late sleepless hours, talking of future dreams and goals in life. Venting the anger and stress to each other. All of this is nothing new to friends, for I do the same with my on-line friends as well. The face-to-face thing makes a difference. To be able to reach out and pat a shoulder or hug someone just because they need it or you want too! It goes far beyond the the communication lines. But still, I know that there's always letters, phone calls, and the net. So I look at it this way: Hope is not Lost to the Loss of Friends to the Distant Miles. For the Miles have many of my Friends and Love ones. And I Love you none the less for them!!

I wrote these while I was living in the Shelter. I know that some of you know how sentimental I am. Okay so I'm a Mushy, Corny person.... Sue me!! LOL But I wanted to share them with you. I'll blog more later..

Take care and God Bless, Tina

Memories! Man they can really get to you.

Here it is the weekend. Around here, that means a full house. We have my Aunt, Uncle, a cousin, and 2 great grandbabies. Well 5 if you count mine. I remember when everyone was still around, you couldn't walk for all the kids on pallets. The adults stayed up playing Yatzee or 42. I was allowed to play with them at a younger age because I was taught 42 before I was in my teens. I'm not sure many know what 42 is, but it's played with dominoes. I was taught so I could play if there wasn't enough players, or if someone had to go somewhere, I got to sit in. I remember how "grown-up" it made me feel. Anyway, we played Yatzee, maybe I can talk them into some 42 later. It was so cool to play with my Grandpa and my Great-Aunts (back when they were alive) more fun than going out, Ever!! I didn't miss a chance, if I had it. Of course, the older you get the less time you have for games or visits. The best times of my life were sitting around the dinner table, not eating, just laughing and playing games. I miss those times and most of all my family that have gone on to the other side. Take time to play a few games or sit around talking and laughing. It will be great memories to look back on after they leave you. Saturday nights don't have to be full of dates and drinks to be good.

Andy is working and just hasn't been online that much at all. Makes for a long day when you can't chat with anyone.. just delete mail. LOL Hope all is well your way.


God Bless you and keep you Safe!!




PS: Jenn, remember what I said and let me know if I can help in any way! You are in my Prayers, as are all of your family. Love to you, Hun!! With Loads of Hugs too!

Hello again! Yes I'm back.....as dread goes over a few, some are actually happy I'm here. To those few that are well, I'm glad to be back too, even though I'm where I am. Not that it's so bad where I am. I'm not beaten nor am I starved, it's just not where I want to be. But, I've faced the fact that I'm not really wanted where I want to be. Oh well, **** him and the horse he rode up on!! I don't wish him bad, I'll be the one getting over him, as he has already moved on. I'm no expert on men, I do know that they aren't all players. Nor do they all think with the "other" head, that just shows the immaturity in them. And as usual, I am looking at this as a learning experience. The sad part of it is, I've already known how to hurt. I didnt' need lessons in that. At least it's not as bad as it once was. Pain, because of love, doesn't ease with "Age"!! Being almost 40, doesn't make the pain go away any faster or easier. What I need to learn is how not to Love. I've always had so much Love for others, just haven't found the right one that can truly appreciate it. Nor have I found the one that wants it. Well, let me rephrase that! To me, there has to be sparks, the chemistry part of a relationship. It's hard to find out that years earlier someone was in Love with you, with you never knew it. When they say that "Love is Blind," they should also add that the "Loved are as Blind!" I suppose some are thinking, "Oh God she's back on her soapbox!!" Hmmm Maybe.... But, there are somethings that need to be put down, if for no other reason but to remind myself of all the feelings I'm having. Maybe then, when the flags fly, and they will, I'll recognize them for what they are. I don't get too many "RED Flags," not like I use to. But then again, if someone smiled at me, there was a red flag. Weird thing is, I recently happened. Just before I left from Oklahoma, a very nice looking gentleman, just smiled in passing. "Red Flag" hit me. I still have a hard time when anyone tells me I'm pretty (or beautiful). My first thought, "What do they want from me??" Compliments weren't a common thing when I was growing up. Plus the fact that someone I trusted had hurt me over and over again. Not many of my friends know about this part of my life. Not that I hide it, it's just easier not to talk about. Believe it or not, it makes others uncomfortable to hear that I was sexually abused as a child. Hell, now that's laughable. Think about it! Some can't imagine how it would feel, others experienced it, and still have no clue as to how to feel about it. Dealing with my sexuality is a job in it's self. Men Love a woman with as High a sex-drive as I have. But, then when they are with women like myself, can't handle it!! Oh they think they can. But it actually, intimidates them in the long run. This is no way bragging!!!!! It's hard to find a man that wants more than just a roll in the hay. And I want someone that is willing to be around longer then it takes to wash him up. No offense to those that live with their Mother's. But, I need a man who isn't afraid to move away from his Mom. Who doesn't think that if they aren't there She won't know what to do. My Mother had a stroke in 1995, and she would have lived in a house without any lights, just to live where she wanted to be. I couldn't let that happen. But my brother had his own life to live, and she didn't fit in. She's living with him now, I'm not sure how well that is going. She doesn't seem to happy with it, but, he won't say anything to me about it. With the past we have, I don't wonder why. Plus, how much good would it do?? We all vent, myself included, we've all realized that complalining about things don't change them. And you usually end up with a killer headache on top of it, so why bother? This is one of my ways to vent, whether it be about Love or Family! Funny thing is, they hate it when I name names..... LMAO Like I could really give a Shit!! Maybe that's why they hate it so much?? I don't even care enough to ask!!!!! I'm a Believer in God, therefore, I will pay for my sins, not other's. I don't have to condone things for them to happen, even where I live. As we all know, not all things are kosher everywhere, not illegal, just not "right." A few things about where I live now. It's a small town, that's grown a lot since the last time I was here. I live with my Granny, she goes to church as much as her health allows. In which, is every time the doors open. I type that with a smile on my face, she's so fiesty it's unbeleivable that she's 78. My Grandpa died in 1992, just 2 weeks after Alex was born. He never held him, I regret that. I'll tell you why. After I had Bobby, my oldest, I had a gallbladder attack and Bobby came out here to stay with my Grandparents during my hospital visit. My Grandpa had him in his lap throughout the day, since Bobby was only 2 weeks old, it was like bringing life back into him. For 2 weeks, whenever Bobby grunted or made any sound at all, Grandpa was there to pick him up and talk to him the whole day through. I Wished my Boys had really known My Grandpa. He was like the song that Randy Travis sang, "I thought He could walk on Water!" He had "Morals" that he'd fight for, truly a dying breed. He's missed by all of us. When he died my Granny changed. He'd been the one that took care of all the business part of their lives. Some know this kind of loss, others don't. She was Lost, I think, she had church to help her more than most realize. He'd married her when she was 15, she's never worked out of the home and never learned to drive. Even to this day, she gets someone to carry her where ever she needs to go. She owns her own car, she's just never sit under the wheel. I wonder if others take for granted the ability to do the simplest things, or do they ever think of those that can't?? I suppose I should bring this to a close. I think about it. LOL While Chance lies next to me sleeping, I just keep typing and wondering if anyone will read this and smile. My thoughts and prayers are with those that have recently lost a loved one. Also, I pray for all those that I Love. As I still have a lot of Love for others, my thoughts on that are, Maybe others should learn to Love more, Not me Love Less!! May Love and Peace Be with you where ever you may be!!! God Bless you and keep you all Safe. Til next we Meet, Tina

Some things Aren't meant to Be, I guess!

Hello to all my friends. I'm back in Texas and with family so nothing to worry about. I'm still alive, not sick anymore, and still surviving. I know this is short but I have to get off here soon. I hope all is well with everyone. Jenn, Hun, I am so sorry about your loss, know that I am thinking of you and praying for you too. I want to thank everyone that has been so supportive of me throughout my ordeal in Oklahoma. God Bless you all.

Take Care, God Bless and Talk to you All Soon!

Tina

Life with a "Runner"

Well Monday I'm supposed to go look into a couple of jobs. The boys are still getting adjusted to being here. I'm hoping it doesn't take too long, they're not letting me get much sleep. My youngest is about to drive me crazy. He comes home from school all hyped up. But, he seems to be calming down from all the running from the teachers. Oh yes, he's a runner. Anyone that has been around children knows the scariness of that. Chance has run out into the highway back in Corsicana, and a few busy roads everywhere else we've been. He's given me a few huge scares. not to mention the drivers of the vehicles he's run out in front of. It's a shame I can't put him on a cable and let him run it out, without worrying about the danger. Seems it's illegal to do that to little ones. LMAO Not that I'm mean to my children, I Love them Dearly, they seem to be their own worst danger sometimes. Wonder where he got all his stubornness from?? I'll take blame for some of it, I was never this bad. Okay I may be NOW!! I wonder if that counts? LOL Life is Amazing sometimes. I've been talking to "Sissie" quite a bit in the last few days. She helps keep me grounded in the sense that what I've done for my kids is the right thing. The move and change really was more for them than for me. Thinking of all of that, it's no more than they deserve. They really did like it up there. The biggest shame was that they had to give up their friends, and for Bobby, his girlfriend! That hurt even me, she is a Sweetie. They were so happy together, reminds me of the good times with my someone special. That seems like a lifetime ago, even though it was just a few months back.

Take Care, God Bless and Talk to you All Soon!

Tina

Just catching up!

Being back in Texas, everything is familar again. Not that Oklahoma is so strange. I just didn't know where anything was nor how to get there. I'm living with my Granny for now. Back to looking for a job, that's never easy. No, I'm not complaining just sitting here thinking of having to work in the "Busy City" again is nerve racking. But, it's worth it to support my family. Strange thing is, it's not the working that bothered me. It's the driving in all the traffic that always got to me. Oh well we have to do what we have to do! And I have to get some money together to get my things out of storage before I lose it. It feels good to be able to type my thoughts again, instead of writing them down. Takes less time to do it as well. Computers sure can make you feel lazy in that aspect. LOL My family once stated, if it weren't for my computer they would never receive a letter from me. That's not true. But it always did make it easier for me to type it and for them to read. Plus, I always hated writing to them not knowing if they would actually take the time to write back. Now-a-days people just e-mail. It's cheaper and doesn't take as long to get it. The handwriting thing and spelling has stopped a many people from writing for years. Can we say, Thank God for SpellCheck?? LMAO It's saved face with me a few times, well that and a handy dictionary. *Big Grin* Things seem to be going well. We're just trying to get used to a different schedule is all. All that is needed is to get back into a normal routine of life. Hmmmm, makes you wonder what normal is sometimes? I've watched more TV in the last few days then I have in years, and that includes movies too. I guess I'm just weird. In Oklahoma, I wrote more than anything else, well, except spending time with my boys. Now that things seem to be getting back to normality, I guess all things change.

Take Care, God Bless and Talk to you All Soon!

Tina

Reading your past can feel good and hurt at the same time!

I've sat here and read all the days of archives I have saved on my puter with Andy. It brings back memories of our good times together. Still not sure about what happened to him or why he's not speaking again, maybe I'll find out before too long. Life sucks when you lose touch with those that you care about the most. And, Yes, I'm back in Texas again. Things didn't work out in Oklahoma. So here I am, living with family. I haven't been able to get online yet. So, I'm typing this up on notepad for blogging later. I still have quite a few days to blog from before. My journals were lost in the car a few days so I haven't been able to type those up as of yet. Hopefully, soon. Of course, if you're reading this, then I've been able to get back online with my puter. One-day-at-a-time is more than a saying. It's almost become a way of life. So many things have happened, so much I've missed, and that's not even counting the people I've missed. My typing sucks, I seem to be out of practice. I just hope and pray all is well with everyone else. Please give me a holler, I'd love to hear from you. There's always the group or email if you don't want to comment here.

Take Care, God Bless and Talk to you All Soon!

Tina

Just a few lines....

I don't have much time here. I haven't been able to get to the library as of late. This is the first time in a while. So I wanted to shout out to those that read me....LOL And remind you that I haven't forgotten about you. I'm still at the shelter, awaiting yet more word from Texas. Hopefully soon I'll have my own apt. I know the Boys are looking forward to it as much as I am.

Take Care, God Bless and Talk to you All Soon!

Tina